ok, now 3 months

I realized that I was a little hasty last week in saying 3 months. Now its 3 months.

so I don't know if thanksgiving is this week or the last, but they don't celebrate it here. In fact, when I tried to explain it to someone they didn't understand why we stuffed ourselves and watch football to give thanks. shes got a point.

To answer questions. last week I went into the office, so when I was there I plugged in my pendrive to the computer to download the 1000 songs they have. I am just using my comps speakers.

I didn't have a conversation with Elder Rigby, so I have not told him about how my mother stalked him. Yes I talked to Elder mcswain about the bangerters! I was like, yeah they are in my ward! me and emily are friends! He was like, isn't she like 13? Haha funny stuff. 

so mom, about that time our for women thing, how in the world did you get grandma to hold up that fake mustache???? hahahahahahahahahaha sooooooo funny!!!

so I tried my home debit card this week, and it worked. I withdrew about 25 bucks. so lemme know if someone is coming down to arrest me for fraud or anything.

so we have been having problems with getting our clothes back from the people who wash them. let's just say I have been wearing the same pair of socks for 4 days now. Yeah. haha

There is a word here that they use to mean child, creatura. literal translation means creature. so like, the creatures are playing outside. super funny.

lauren, thank you for the letters! I got a bunch more this week! Including the Rm application which made me and many other people laugh very hard.

so mom, I am sorry, I don't wear my seatbelt here. That's only because there is never anything to clip it into. None work. I apologize.

Ok, so there was a wedding and baptism of the other missionaries in our ward this week! super cool! Only like 35 people were there, it was in the church gym, and the only decorations were some boquets and a heart made out of balloons. It was really more of a formality, seeing as they already have kids who are adults. The wedding favors included hotdogs, and sprite. Elegance at its finest.

so I had a cool experience this week. I was sitting in a lesson teaching the Restoration, and whenever we teach this lesson satan always sends a distraction, a crying baby, anything. This time it was in the form of a barking dog. for half of the lesson this dog was barking and making noise. finally I thought to myself to do something, and I knew that it was good, so I had the faith, probably not fully, to do it. I turned and said to the dog, in English, Be still. That's all I said. and you know what? That dog did not bark nor make one noise for the rest of the lesson. Incredible. I am just grateful to my Father in Heaven for showing me that I do have the power and authority to act in the name of christ, and I grew such a greater respect for this divine calling I am on. Truly, even though no one saw, this was a miracle for me.

Happy anniversary on the 30th mom and dad! Whatre you at, 25?

Here is a lot like West Bountiful. Everyone is related somehow. super funny.

so I had a good trade this week. I traded this guy named jose my watch that he really wanted for his classic, 50 dollar Olimpia jersey. Then I went and bought a cool white watch for 5 bucks. Haha good trade right? Its a super cool jersey, I took a pic, I will send it later.

I had a lesson in English! This guy is a less active member and he teaches English and studies it. His english is probably as good as my spanish. But he wanted to speak in English! so we talked about the tree of life, and it was fun to be the lead companion for once, and to be able to say what I want to say! It was super weird at first, I kept wanting to go into spanish!! funny.

so in spanish there are words that they just use in English, and some are random.

chance (pronounced wrong, but still English)

look (as in my look is a white shirt and tie)

break, as in lets take a break for a while

fetch, among members this is popular because of north american missionaries

okay. everyone says ok.

so on the buses, the collectivos, there are people that try to sell you stuff. candy, food, magazines, beer (which they call leche, or milk), jewlery, coloring books, you name it. some even pass out the candy, then you have to wait til they return so you can give them it back, because if you eat it, you pay for it. Haha it should be illegal. But hey, its funny.

Well I love you all, thanks for all the support you all give me! I pray for your safety and happiness. 

Remember how powerful the Book of mormon is. If this book is true, our whole church is true. If this book is true, everything we say and do is true. This is fundemental to everything we teach. Without a testimony of the Book of mormon we just cannot gain a testimony of anything else. It's important.

Yall are great, hope you enjoyed the show, until next time...

Elder jake

 

 

This was the district for the first change.

from left to right, Elder hathaway, Breton, me, funk, Herrera being dumb, and wing, who is home now.

Hermana willis, alania, sanchez, tomco, santos, puac, linares, hunt, and villanueva above hunt.

 

 This is such a great picture.

 

 

 my Halloween package!! oh the joy! It was all gone in like 3 days.

Cows in the street and watermelon on heads

Wow. 3 months. Unreal. It has not been that long.

So great about Zayah!! I am super proud of him. That made me so happy!

Well I don't have many questions to answer, which is ok, I have stuff to write. Always. Sorry for no pics again.

First of all, random cows roam the street. We try to avoid them because some have some nice horns.

I spitshined my shoes the other day real quick on the way out the door and my comp was super confused. I had to explain to him what spitshining was. He asked me if I do the same thing with my hair. Haha super funny, I never thought it would be so weird. He also has all these presumptuous thoughts about the USA from movies and reality tv, that all kids spit at their parents and all rebel all crazy and stuff. I try to tell him that reality tv is really the crazies, but he assures me that he "knows what the US is like" and that Utah is probably just different. Silly him.

I got music!! Oh how is sooths my soul. I love it.

We saw a lady walking with a watermelon balancing on her head. Super cool.

The culture here is very Catholic, and they believe in a bunch of Virgins and the Child Jesus mostly. It's hard cuz its their culture, so when we ask them to change, we are asking them to shirk their culture. Its hard.

I bought a hymnbook! then lost it... Rats.

We had the meeting with Christofferson! He spoke in perfect Spanish! Wow. I got to shake his hand! I also asked him a question, I asked him how the Gospel had helped him in his life. It was weird cuz everyone else asked about investigators or how to teach, but I just wanted to know that!

I met Elders McSwain and Rigby! Super cool guys.

Its funny in the mornings when its like 60 degrees and everyone has beanies and coats. Haha silly Paraguayans think its cold.

Super cool member Baptism this week. We filled the font, but the water looked like lemonade. So we cleaned it out and filled it again, grabbing buckets and filling in sinks to hurry it up. Super funny and fun! She will have a great story to tell.

Well I gotta go, it is short this week, I didn't have my full 2 hours. 

WEll remember everyone that Jesus Christ suffered for us one by one. One by one he felt our pains, one by one he suffered our guilts, one by one he thought of us in the Garden. He loves us. 

With all my imperfect yet sincere love for you all, Elder Jake

In the groove now

so I feel like I just was here! Wow so fast. I feel like I just left the airport. Boy how much more confident I feel however.

I always forget what I have already said in these letters, sorry if I repeat anything ever.

so I see it is snowing! I miss snow. I wanna go sledding. Oh good times. I remember all my extreme sledding injuries. Oh those were the days.

more packages!! Yay! I like those. They make me happy.

I am talking to Noah a touch more now, he had told me stuff about it. Its fun to talk to him super shortly.

Its fun to here about all these things! jackie getting home.. crazy sauce. cassi in china? wow. Thats super cool, I can't wait to see the list of the missions of people. How is casey doing on his mission stuff?

so the guy who had ants crawl on his feet is named vidal. super cool guy. We asked him what is the book of mormon? he said, True! haha he just has a problem getting to church. But he knows so much, he has read more in the Book of mormon than most of the members here.

laurie clark, happy birthday this week, I am sorry I forgot what day exactly, but I am pretty sure its this week.

I got a letter from one rachel sandorf this week! If this one rachel sandorf would kindly email me we could talk much more easily. Thanks Rach!

mom, in my bucket of stuff in the bottom I belief I have my prayer rug from forever ago. The next time you send something, could you send that? That'd be lovely. I would love that.

my comp is a convert since 10, but really he says he was a punk and not active good member til 18. he is 20 now, a year into his mission. He is from a more rich part of columbia, I think his family is quite wealthy actually. I havent seen his letters or packages if he has gotten them. His fam are all members I think.

I will send pictures slowly, I gotta do it in order so I don't miss any I wanted to send. I am slowly catching up. I have taken pics of the apartment and stuff, but I havent sent them. also, we don't take cameras out proselyting cuz well, a tall well dressed american with a camera is a big target for people who lack sufficient funds.

so to tell you all how it is here, I will be quite plain and clear. It has been the hardest 5 weeks of my life. But I have grown so much more confident. I know the lord works for the best, and sometimes I feel like I am being put through the ringer. But hey, I have a ways to go right? Insert winky face here.

The truth is, most of the stress relief I had at home isn't here. I have had to learn new ways. I can't go talk to alex, I can't shoot hoops with mckay, I can't sit and play guitar, I can't listen to kevins comedianisms, I can't text friends, I can't even just stop to rest in my bed most of the time. That is the hardest part about out here. learning new ways of relieving stress. like working harder. Oh the faith that I lack still sometimes. my God knows me. He knows my lazy tendencies. It's for the best. 

come what may, and love it.

Whats it like at home without me? less stress? are you saving tons of money on cheesesticks and pretzals and frosting?

may I touch on the subject of the incredible strength of my mother.

let me just say, that I have not seen a stronger woman in the world than my mother. When she got called to be the Relief society Pres and then a few weeks later got diagnosed with cancer, I wasn't sure how she was going to take it. When surgeries followed and she couldn't do very much for a while, she still made cards for the people who gave us food and snacks and treats. she still talked to sis mckenzie and helped her. she came to soccer games, climbed hills, all these things she did to support her family and friends when really she was the one who needed the support. along with other experiences that she has been through with different things, I am so proud of my mom. she is an incredible woman. sorry mom, I am sure you cannot read this far because your vision is going blurry, if I know you at all. my mom really is my hero. I never really have had a hero until now, but I look back and see all that she and so many other people have done for me and I am just incredibly grateful. 

You all are the reason I am here. You helped me to get here. Now I am here and I get to do the same for others. What a blessing it is.

sidenote, whats Bishop salmons email? thanks.

Ok, back to life in Paraguay.

dogs. there are like 5 per household. crazy. they breed like no other.

I created an Excel sheet for references the other day. Who knew computer tech would come in handy?

modesty is a huge issue here. The men don't wear shirts a lot, the women really arent modest either. You can tell who the mormons are in the street.

can you send some magic korean no itch stuff? Is there any? Idk thatd be grand.

a lot of times there is juice that people handmake. The problem is there is always pulp. and its hard for me to drink stuff with pulp. They also all share cups. Exciting.

The other day we ate undercooked scones essentially. and yall know how much I get sick with scones. so I tried to down it with juice, which tasted like cough syrup. That was not a happy day. we went home and ate something else.

fail of justin beiber in paraguay, he comes out for a concert and says, hola uruguay! People hate him now.

I heard the jonas brothers the other day! that was fun.

people here legitly play volleyball without hands. super cool.

my companion does P90x in the mornings, and it always reminds me of the Byutv studio c sketch about it. Haha I hate it, but I love it! seriously, he says that.

There is a soccer rivalry here, cerro and olimpia, they played yesterday and tied. no one is happy. but hey, no revolts or loud cheers last night.

saturday was a long day. We took this kid marcello who we haven't taught him anything, but he wanted to come with us to teach, so we brought him along! We walked all afternoon, probably 10 miles, and we couldn't find anyone to teach, all the appointments fell through, poor kid probably didn't know what he had gotten himself into. But hey he came to chruch this sunday!! I wasn't expecting that. He is a stud. He is gonna be my first baptism, I know it.

 

Well I will end with a good quote that I thought of a while ago

"Some things in life are so sweet that they change our perception of sweet altogether."  me!

love you all. Thanks for the support. You all are the reason I am here, and more. keep up the work.

With all the love my imperfect heart can muster, 

Elder Jake

 

 I thought that this selfy was shweet. me and templo buenos aires!

 

This is the other district in the ccm.         right to left, going on top

Elders white, boyer, dye (best missionary ever), bronson, teloma, ricci behind, I can't remember the names of the two shorter elders to the left, we called them timon and pumba. I will look that up later. The hermanas from left to right, dolan, buss, hunt. hma hunt is in my district now.

a month in Paraguay? get out..

so first of all, I apologize for my capitilization and such, this is a weird keyboard. The shift key only works sometimes.

You all are incredible. I quite enjoyed your pumpkin pictures!! alexs temple and pumpkin eating another pumpkin was grand, kevins minion was incredible, and all reminded me of home so much! Good stuffs!

I have talked to Noah a touch, but it sounds cold out there! as its getting to 100 and humid here! definitely gonna be thinking of him! We will bring the world his truth, surely.

mom, don't you remember, you sent me with 20 bottles of contact solution? If i need soap, meds, contact solution I am sure, anything I need I can get here. Besides frosting and pretzals and cheesesticks. and home. but hey, what are these 2 hours for? and no I have not found peanut butter, but then again I have not looked very hard. I usually just buy ham and cheese and bread and eggs. We always have lunches with people.

I am glad all is well there! You will have to get me matts email.

I got my halloween package on Halloween! What luck! I also got tons of letters from the last month. 5 from lauren, 1 from mallory, and 1 from grandma and grandpa simpson. someone help them figure out how to email me. Oh and the little newspaper snipit from Grm k!

so this package made me very happy. let me tell you why.

first thing I saw was my moms handwriting, and that made me very happy.

Then the pretzals. OHHHHH the joy!! always send pretzals!! I am slowly enjoying the greatness. The peeps I was like, ok I will just eat one. But no, you cannot just eat one peep. Before I could take another breath they were gone. Ohhhh goodness.

The hammer screwdriver thing is super cool! super funny how small it gets!

Perry the platypus Pez. I will keep this forever. forever being 2 years. I did a little patience experiment with the pez, because on my attributes test, patience was the lowest. I ate one pez and made myself wait for increasing increments of time to eat the next one. When it got too easy, I began to hold the pez in my hand for the whole hour I was studying. This whole experiment took two days. The hardest part was the next day, I was like, this is dumb, I just wanna eat it! But no, I made myself do one at a time. It was so hard! But hey, maybe it helped.

lauren, if you have written my every week then I am missing two letters that must be at the mtc from sep 10 and 17. I did not recieve the Rm application or those other things.

for all those wishing to send me a real letter, it takes 2 to 8 weeks to get here, so plan accordingly! Here is a funny thing I found about letter sending, it is kinda long, and a lot of you have written me emails which is the fastest and really easiest way to talk to me, because I will not write handwritten letters often, they cost 3 bucks each to send. so here is this, it may not apply, but its funny anyways.

The first epistle of Elder simpson to the dead letter writers.

chapter 1

IN the beginning was the mailbox and the mailbox was void of letters.

2 and the missionaries said, "let the mailbox be filled" and the box was not filled.

3 and the missionaries beheld the continuing void and were not pleased.

4 and lo, it was the first day of the first week and there was no mail delivered, but this was good.

5 But on the second day was the mail delivered, yet the box remained empty.

6 Yea, even from the second day unto the seventh was the mail delivered.

7 Even so, the box retained its void.

8 and yea, great mists of darkness spread forth from the void and enshrouded the missionaries. Yea, and did bring much sadness to their otherwise cheery days.

9 Even the long hours of fruitless tracting, being attacked by the fowls of the air, and being pursued by the beasts of the field were not as desheartening as the lack of blessed objects know as letters.

10 Yet they persisted.

chapter 2

AND, lo, on the second day of the second week the mists still encircled the mailbox.

2 and on the third day, from within the depths of the void was a single postcard.

3 and this postcard put forth a ray of light that pierced the darkness and overcame the mists.

4 and the missionaries were well pleased, and there was much rejoicing.

5 But, alas, their exclamations of joy were in vain. for the postcard was for someone else.

6 but if their joy was so exceedingly great over someone elses mail, how great would be their joy at partaking of their own mail?

chapter 3

BUT some will say, a letter, a letter, We have already written a letter. We have no need to write any more letters.

2 know ye not that there are more days than one, and more events tham one in a day? Why think ye that these events need no be reported?

3 Yea, and ye need not worry that your letters will go unanswered.

4 But you should say, I will go and write the letter tha a missionary requests. for I know that he giveth no requests except he be prepared to speedily respond.

5 and we give unto thee the parable of the self addressed envelopes.

6 When the missionary departed into the far off land he gave a certain number of self addressed stamped envelopes to his friends.

7 Unto one he gave five, unto another he gave two, and unto the third he gave one.

8 and while he was gone, he that was given the five envelopes wrote five letters, then in his zeal wrote five letters more.

9 The same with him that had two enveloples, He wrote two letters and the two letters more.

10 But he that was given the single self addressed envelope became slothful and careless. and he lost the envelope, even that which he was given.

11 and when the missionbary came home he went unto his friends. nd he that had written ten letters he warmly greeted.

12. The smae with him that had written four letters.

13 But he that had written none at all was given nothin more than a fishy, wimplike handshake.

chapter 4

AND the missionary said unto his friend, lovest thou me?

2 nd the friend said, of course I love thee. Then the missionary said, fill my mailbox.

3 He saith a second time, friend, lovest thou me? and the friend said, thou knowest that I love thee. He then said, fill my mailbox.

4 He then spake a third time saying, lovest thou me? nd the friend said, thou knowest that I love thee!

5 Then the missionary said, stuff my mailbox.

6 and the vision is become unto all as the words of a letter that is sealed in the envelope that men deliver to one who is not serving a mission saying, Read this, I pray thee, and he saith, I cannot, for it is sealed and it is not mine.

7 and the letter is deliverd to him that is serving a mission saying, read this I pray thee, and he saith, why sure.

8 Therefore you should proceed to do a marvelous work for a missionary, even a marvelous work and a wonder by writing a letter.

That is all. Yeah I thought it was funny too.

One thing I could use, mom, is recipies. I cant find my book. can i get recipies for crepes, brownies, choco chip cookies, and sugar cookies? just in case i have some extra time on pday to have fun.

I laughed hard in one of laurens letters talking about mom. I guess mom asked 

with all this modern technology, why cant they make bandaids for black people?

and also

I am not playing!! (after a ball hit the window)

hahaha oh mom, I love you so.

Halloween, I saw a few trick or treaters with their parents, mostly dressed up like witches and stuff. there are a few clothes and stuff with halloween, but its not big here. people know it is all.

I finally saw a good sunset! Oh it was beautiful. I wanted to just sit and watch it and pull up a cowboy hat and play my guitar. This place is gonna make a hick out of me.

We taught this man who had bugs crawling all over his feet. like they lived in the wounds that were there. he didnt even seem to care. Ew. poor guy is getting eaten!

I finally weighed myself for the first time in the mission! I have gained 10 pounds! I was also wearing shoes, had my tag, planner, stuff in my pockets, tie, belt, BUT HEY! maybe i have gained 5 lbs.

lightning here is super cool. You can see it in the cloud coming. It lights up the sky. super cool! We have seen it a lot this week!

I went on a split this week with an Elder who is only 6 weeks more advanced than me. It was hard for us to talk to people and understand, but I feel like we had a successful day there! His apartment is super nice. air conditioning. end of story. We made pancakes. I bought stuff today to make pancakes.

I have learned something of obedience. How can we expect our investigators or friends to keep their commitments if we are not keeping ours? just ponder on that.

With an investigator Yeni, (jenny, pronunciation) we asked her to pray about the book of mormon and if it was true and just wait for a little bit and listen. Well we waited for no less than 5 whole minutes I am sure, but she was crying, and she could really feel the spirit of it! Then... she didnt come to church. But hey, its a work in progress.

It's fun to run into other missionaries or pastors from other religions. They all teach truth! They all teach good stuff! But its not everything! They are missing important things! Its sad.

No we do not have ensigns, and yes we have 4 other sister missionaries in our branch.

Well I am out of time. I have so much to say to you all! ahh,,, next week.

love you all, keep writing me!

Elder jake

This is my mtc district, the aaron district. 

Top, left to right.

Elders Reed, Eiker, Degn, me, worsham, baxter, miller

Holding our teacher Hermano fioramanti (love this guy)

Below, Hma sanders, elder page, and hma braunersrither.

2 months!

Alrighty, so this computer we are using this week is weird, so no pics this week.

Yes, I just barely figured out my camera thing, so any pics I take from now one will be better I hope.

Ok, to answer Dad's email.

Thanks for the sports updates! How are the Braves doing in football?

Ok so the food is ok! Mostly a lot of meat. But all the meat has a ton of fat and it is always on the bone, so its hard to get everything off. There is lots of bread too. Rice often, noodles too. I like the noodles. I have been trying to buy different foods from the supermarket. The milk is gross. The apple juice is good the first time or two but by time you get to the bottom its like jello. They have lots of little tortas, cakes without frosting, sorta like sweetbread. Its usually good! One Hermana that we visited had brownies. Ohhhh heaven. They also have a lot of Coke which we cant drink, Sprite type stuff, carbonated apple juice type stuff, all yummy!

They all drink this drink called Terere down here. They but this weed grass clipping looking stuff in their cup and pour water in and share with everyone. Its like a tradition thing. You just sit down and drink terere with your neighbors. All day. We can't drink it (haleluia). It looks gross.

They do have stuff like McDonalds and Burger Kings and Pizza Huts in the big parts of some cities, but its usually not within a missionary budget. Maybe once every few weeks.

We usually get like 680000 guarani per month, about 150 bucks I think. But everything here is cheap. If you arent eating out it is usually enough money for everything you need.

The people we work with... Idk, there are super great members who work with us a ton. Most of the great members are just recently returned missionaries. The President of the Branch got home from his mission in 2010. Super young. There are some solid youth too. Our average attendance in church is like 70.

Speaking of church, I gave a talk on Sunday! To be quite honest however, I had written it down before, so when I got up there to read it, I had no idea what I was saying. Whatever. I hope it made sense.

Mostly with our investigators and stuff its hard to get them to do stuff. They will always talk to you, all that stuff, they will say they will come to church, but their word means nothing here.

Discussions is hard for me, because I have to prepare in my head what I have to say, and once I figure it out we are usually on to the next topic. Oh well. We try to ask a lot of questions, it really helps when they can sorta teach themselves. Oh, and can I tell you how important members are??? If there is a member present or a member gave us the reference or something, the lesson always goes 10 times better for the investigator. SOOOO IMPORTANT!! GO OUT WITH THE MISSIONARIES!!!

The most powerful teaching tool in the world is the testimony of a friend or family member. Don't be afraid. The missionaries are just two kids from a different country here to dunk them in water, but a relative or friend is a true miracle in conversion.

My companion is chill. Sometimes too chill, but its just him! He works hard, and often gets frustrated because he can't do it all. Often he forgets I can't speak Spanish I think. He is very spacy, I always have to remind him to pay attention so we don't get lost. No mountains to guide me! He is a good guy. Jokes around a lot, sometimes I have to tell him not to say that, cuz the missionary he learned his English from didn't speak with the most reverence. But hey. He always teaches, teaches, teaches. We have been working on asking more questions and stuff.

Questions from mom.

Pday we study in the morning, just 2 hours. Then we go out and do some sort of activity. Today it was ultimate frisbee! It was funny teaching the latinos how to play. It was fun to be able to beat them at something, cuz we usually play soccer. Then we write, shop, haircut if needed, those types of stuff, then we are back to work by 6, FHE with a family, and probably one or 2 more lessons that night.

We give our laundry to a lady in the Branch, and it usually takes a week to get our clothes back. So I sorta have a cycle of two groups of clothes I wear. Mom, thank you for overpacking everything. Youre the best;)

I liked the whale van picture! Nice beard McKay! Way to keep up the tradition of the Penguin Kevin!

Mom, no worries, I eat way to much.

Yes I have been doing contacts because glasses slide off my face with the sweat. It has been fine!

Yes I use bug spray most of the time. There are lots of bugs, flies and mosquitos in our house at least, but they stopped eating me. They realized there is nothing to eat.

No the water is not clean in many areas. Thats probably why I got sick. But we pay like 2 bucks and we get water in a big tube for the week. Its super cheap and clean. I also buy lots of Gatorade type stuff, like one per day ish.

Mom, anything that I NEED I cannot wait for 2 months for. I would get it down here. Thank you though. And yeah, packages are expensive, just make sure never to send a package valued at over 100 dollars. 99 is ok, 100 will get checked by people and I will have to pay 50 bucks just to get it.

No, there are no mice that I have seen. Where is Elder Rigby now?

No it isn't against the rules to email back and forth within the same time I am on, I just don't have time to do that mostly, I only have 2 hours to do everything, to write everyone.

Alex, go kick some net.

I haven't talked to Noah in weeks! I don't get his letters, nor do I send mine to him. We don't have time to read all that. I will email him today though, I have been wanting to talk to him. Keep sending me little snipits from his letters. They are fun! He freezes, and I am getting up around 100 already. Wahoo!

Shannon, any tips, besides lighting big spiders on fire? I haven't seen any big spiders. There are huge frogs though, bigger than my palm plus legs!

People yell out of the cars, Hey Elders! Or Hey Hermanos! just to make their friends laugh, but its not in anger if that's what you mean. Sometimes drunk people are like, Come share something with me! I want the word of God! Usually we ignore the drunks. Or just tell them to come to Church.

Ok, now for the stuff that I have written.

First of all, it has got to be a record how fast I got pique. Serious. I had to go to another Hermana this week to get the rest out, this hermana had a special tool and stuff and she did medical stuff in school. About the same routine, just put cows blood over it instead of ashes. Idk what it did, but hey my pique is gone! It reminds me of a scripture that says,
How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of them that bringeth good tidings!

I hope you were being figurative, Isaiah.

The other day we were trying to show this member where utah was on her google maps on her phone, so just for fun I zoomed in and in and in and saw our house! From like 5 years ago. Before the remodel, after the tree was taken out. It was funny for me.

A different young woman asked me what my first name was, so I told her, then a few minutes later she showed me her phone with my Facebook page. Haha I am glad I don't have anything dumb on there.

Happy Birthday on Friday Jason! I realized that I am probably as far away from Korea as you can get in the world. I also realized that my struggles with the language, Kevin would know exactly how I feel! Any tips Kev? Usually in lessons its hard to do body language however;)

So, may I just say, this plaque on my chest does not change anything. I am no different than any other member. Just more focused on the work, I don't have other things to worry about. If I was hungry before the plaque, I sure well will be hungry after. Lazy before, lazy after. Do not go into the mission thinking that it is going to change you. To be quite honest, you could leave the same way you came. The reason for the change so many missionaries see is a stricter obedience to the Lord, more focus on His work and especially on His Son. Don't wait for a mission to be a missionary. There is soo much you can do as members. Go out with missionaries. Feed them. Offer a family home evening with nonmembers in your house. Just mention your religion to a friend, and offer to answer any questions. Most of all, live your religion. Live it every day so those people will see you and say, Why are they so happy? How are they so successful in their family or in their home or work or life. Pray for opportunities. They will come. Pray to be ready. You will be. As a set apart servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, I promise you will see miracles if you just reach out. Be a friend. Serve first. Service opens hearts. Remember Gloria? She and I could talk and have a normal conversation because I offered to shovel snow once. Service is love in action. This Gospel can bless you in any part of your life. Be prayful over all things. Always have the Lord in mind, and He will always have you in mind.

Wow, ok that was my spiritual talk for the day.

I got a hat! It's so hot out hear that they let missionaries wear hats. It's sorta a half breed of cowboy, explorer, and sombrero. I have been trying to form mine to look more like a cowboy hat. It's sorta working.

So Elder Christofferson is coming to Paraguay for a conference on Nov. 13! I can't wait to hear him.

Yeah, it's hot down here. Like a sauna. All the time. Good thing I like saunas!

So there has been a lot of opposition this week. Crazy stuff. This inactive member of the church who is angry at the church for some reason has been going around this one area of ours with a lot of our investigators, telling them bad stuff, like how Joseph Smith was a raper and stuff like that. Crazy stuff. But we have lost a few of our good investigators to this plague. One of our investigators just stopped progressing once she saw a less active member neighbor drinking beer or something. Sad stuff out there. It's hard to do anything out there now.

So today is day 1400 of reading my scriptures! I still keep track of it, its pretty cool to remember when I started and the number was only 20 or 50 or 100. It's so easy to read scriptures if you just get a habit.

So I guess the local soccer team here in Itaugua got promoted to the first division league in Paraguay, so everyone was partying a few nights ago, fireworks, the whole shabang.

So there are soo many motorcycles here. Soo many. Like probably 3 to 5 for every car. Every family has one. Its just easier here. Everyone jsut uses the Colectivos if they need to go somewhere with more than 3 people, or don't have a motorcycle.

So my mind like completely shut down the other day. We were trying to practice and my mind just powered down to reboot. I couldn't think in Spanish, English, I was only doing anything on sheer will power, instincts, and following my companion. It was like this for a good hour or two. I just can't try to say more than 2 or 3 sentences in Spanish, because I can't focus on what to say while I am saying something else. It was weird. But no worries, I am just learning my limits I suppose.

Is there any way you could find and get me the email or address for Elder Jay E. Jensen? Idk why, I have just been wanting to write him! He dedicated this temple here! I think it would be cool to connect the world. I remember when he wrote me that letter when I was like 14 after I gave a talk in church, telling me how he could see me as a missionary. And now I am here, in the land where he dedicated the temple!! Cool stuffs!

It's sorta funny how the church is the same everywhere. There is a guy here with curly hair and is the 2nd counselor in the branch presidency. He is the Troy Salmon of here. Its funny cuz he has the curly hair and little 2 year old girl and its funny.

Well I will end with this scripture, it is one of my favorites out here on the mission.

And whoso recieveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

Doctine and Covenants 84:88

Super purete scripture. Purete means cool in Guarani.

Well thank you for all your support! I have to wait until I go to the office next to get the package that you sent. Idk when that will be.

I love you all, I love hearing from you. If I am not hearing from you, I have something funny for you next week. Dun dun dun!

With love as always, and until next time, this has been the weekly news. Over and out.

Elder Jake

Machette, pig and Pique

 

Ok so first of all, you will always send letters through the mission office. I send them back the same way.

If you would so desire, I would love a little ipod or mp3 with church efy and just nonromantic happy uplifting songs on it! Include the plug in cord. I think a flash drive works in some speakers too, which I guess I would need a little speaker too. Include Christmas Shoes the song if possible. Oh and Christmas music is always acceptable, any time of year! Yeah I found my flash drive and it has one song on it, Man in the Mirror! It´s a great song but after 3 times you get sick of it! Haha but this is only my Christmas list, no worries if you cant!

Yeah my area is one of the furthest south areas of the mission. 1 hour from Asuncion. It has stores and big roads and supermarkets and it also has dirt roads with people who get shipped clothes to wear. Its a big variety.

So lemme tell you about my morning on Tuesday. I had just gotten over a 3 day sickness that just slowed me down a little, (don´t worry, I just had to buy clean water instead of drink water from peoples houses) and I woke up with a little pain in my heel. I looked at it, and it was pique! For those of you who don´t know, pique is like a tick, it goes in your skin and it lays eggs in there and its not too hard to get rid of if you catch it. So I went to the Hermana whos house we live in and she took one of my sewing needles and just picked it out. It didn't really hurt. Then she got this alcohol stuff and poured it on to kill whatever was left. That hurt a little. Then she got some ash from the fire and rubbed it on it. Idk what it did, I am sure it helped. It really wasn´t that bad at all.

Anyways, so after all this I decide that I wanna make an omelette! We had just gotten the gas for our stove. So I put the pan on top of the glass of the stove and started going, super excited, when halfway through I hear a loud crack and then BOOM! Glass shatters straight outward in a million pieces!! Hot glass too! I guess the glass was just a cover! Stupid invention. But no worries. No one was hurt in the making of this omelette. Anyways, that poor Hermana comes in and helps us clean it up... She must think I am an accident prone, deaf, mute, clutz. She finally figured me out! Yeah... I didn´t get my omelette that morning, but never fear, I made one the next day!

Oh if you could, could I get, along with other pics of family and stuff, a pic of the Bountiful temple? I would love that.j

So to answer a question, I have not yet seen the sunrise or sunset here! Its all flat here, which means we can't see over any buildings at all. That and I don´t think they have daylight savings figured out, cuz the sun rises at like 5 30 and comes down at like 7. Weird.

So you should all, especially the teenage ones of my audience, listen to the song, The Reason by Hoobastank. Think about the Atonement when you do. It is crazy how incredible it is!

So everyone knows Simpson here too. Everyone always jokes with me! I have become quite a popular name I think. The tall, skinny, unlingual Gringo who has the funny last name! Thats me!

Mom, thanks for those Plan of Salvation picture cutouts! I use them every time! I did have to write the Spanish translation over the English words, but hey, it´s great!

So one thing that is sorta odd here is that we don´t eat dinner. Lunch is the big meal that we eat with members, but we never eat until we get home at 9 30. I get so hungry.

These people are trying to make me fat. They are always like, do you want more? after my 4th serving, and I am like, no I would love to but I am full! ANd they say, oh you are so skinny, eat some more! So I do. But I am not fat yet!

So we contacted this guy on the bus who couldnt speak or hear. We wrote stuff down on a back page in the Book of Mormon and he nodded that he would read it and stuff! Then the next morning I was reading in Isaiah 29 18 and it says something like, and the deaf shall hear the words of the book. Super cool!!!

It has been pretty smoky here lately because all trash here is just burned in their backyards. No trash cans or anything. Super weird.

It sorta fun in lessons, because often we will have a dog, cat, chicken, rooster, pig, frog wander through the middle of us. Its funny! Just different, I thought yall would like that.

So this Sunday was super great, we got Jazmin and Simeona, 2 investigators, to come to church and a bunch of our less active friends that we have visited came too! It´s a big focus right now with the less actives.

I love seeing the light in the eyes of the people who accept our message and the Holy Ghost enters into their lives. You can see it in their eyes, in the smile and almost suprise in their faces. It´s incredible.

Also I love the first prayers of people. So sincere. So genuine. Without all the muck of our mormon prayer culture. So cool.

I will end with a joke Elder Herrera told me.

A boy was doing a science experiment on how high fleas could jump with how many legs they had.

He got a flea with 6 legs and said, Jump! It jumped 3 feet.

He got a flea with 5 legs and said, Jump! It jumped 2 and a half feet.

He got fleas with 4, 3, 2, 1, legs and said Jump! They jumped 2 feet, 18 in, 12 in, and 10 in, respectively.

Finally he got a flea with no legs and said, Jump! It didn´t jump. Jump! he said again! Jump jump jump!

Finally he concluded that the last flea was deaf.

HAHA! I thought it was funny. Maybe it wasn´t. Probably not.

Well, remember who you all are, love you all, tune in next week for more of, The Life of Elder Simpson!

If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change!

Elder Jake Simpson

 Me and my trusty machete! Not for spiders sadly, for yardwork (If we ever had any) I haven´t used it yet...

 Pique!! I don´t know how I got it, I promise I wear shoes everywhere!

 Yeah so this is my bathroom. Looks great huh! No worries, I do have hot water. But there is a pull string for the toilet! That´s how they all are down here. I feel so empowered when I do it!

 Me and my companion and a less active member working on his roof! I guess right before I came there was a crazy hailstorm. This guy and his wife came to Church on Sunday though!

 Us with a few member kids and their pig! I thought you would like this. Oddly enough the next time we visited them we had bacon... Just kidding!

Itaugua Paraguay

Just a few facts about Jake's first area - Itaugua Paraguay

30 Kilometers from the capital city of Asuncion
Population 90,000
Itaugua was named by the Guarani Indians, translated "Ita"= stone, and Gua = from Guarani Indians
Languages - Spanish and Guarani
Economy - manufacture and sale of textiles of Ñandutí. Nanduti means "spiderweb". Here are some examples of this beautiful art form.

*Notice the curtains in the background

Here are a few more images of Itaugua, Paraguay from google images...

 Hopefully Jake will figure out how to get more pictures to us soon - until then, google will have to do!